EUROPEAN UNIVERSITY INSTITUTE, FLORENCE
EUROPEAN POLICY UNIT
O R K I N G P A P E R No. 87/301
OF SCHOOL CULTURE AND
SOCIAL CONTROL OF GIRLS
by
Sue LEES, Jennie SHAW
and Kirsten REISBY
BADIA FIESOLANA, SAN DOMENICO (F I)
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This paper sh ou ld not without prior
be re pr od uc ed in whole or permission of the authors
(c) Sue Lees, Jennie Shaw and Kirsten Reisby Pr inted in Italy in 1937 European Un iv er si ty Institute
Badi a F i esolana 1-50016 San Domenico (Fi)
Italy n part
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PREFACE
In November 1985, as a result of generous sponsorship by the Italian government (Ministero degli Interni) and the European Policy Unit of the EUI, a conference was held in Florence on "The prevention and treatment of juvenile delinquency among girls in the EEC: towards an evaluation". Seventy-two scholars and practitioners attended, from eleven different European countries. The purpose of the conference was to celebrate the United Nations Year of Youth by
constructive discussion about how and why girls and young women come to the attention of the criminal justice and welfare systems, how they are treated, and how practices for the care and control of girls and young women might be improved.
The value of comparative work of this kind was amply demonstrated both theoretically and in terms of policy and practice. The big lack was clearly of studies designed and intended for comparative purposes. The 27 conference papers collected together in ten EUI Working Papers (of which this volume is one) reveal both these strengths and this need.
Theoretically what was surprising and of importance were the similarities between countries with very different cultures and political economies in the way girls and young women are treated. Their employment prospects are everywhere worse; their sexuality is heavily policed by their male and female peers, with the ultimate sanction of non-marriageability to a 'good' man having the potential of causing both economic and social and psychic pain. The efforts of a minority of girls and young women to break out of this cycle appear to be policed by state agencies - the welfare and justice systems - although the part played in some countries by private (often religious) agencies remains to be explored. For other girls non-conformity could not properly be under stood as rebellion: but whatever its cause the directions and occasions of control were similar.
This cross-nation similarity suggests that a theoretical reduction of these constraints in the direction of familial coupling to an effect of capitalism or of class structure is not adequate, given the wide variations in political economies already alluded to.
The second important similarity which seemed to emerge - although requiring much more detailed work before adequate theorising is achieved - is that policy in relation to delinquent girls is for some matters based on boys' behaviour patterns and career paths. This emerged most clearly in relation to British and Dutch ways of dealing with drug offenders, in the contributions by Thom and Blom (WP 87/298) . Such policies, being inappropriate, were also ineffective. But for the most part both court decision making and the practice of subsequent sentences were gendered. This, however, seemed to the
contributors to be inappropriate too. The demand, therefore, is not for formal sameness but for appropriate differences in welfare practices in relation to girls, based on careful feminist and sociological analysis of their life spaces and possibilities rather than on male mythologies about the needs and natures of young females. It is to this end that more detailed comparative work must be directed - a project which the conference participants already have in hand.
Maureen Cain
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A S P E C T S OF SCHOOL CUL T URE A N D T H E S O C I A L C O N T R O L O F G I R L S S u e L e e s S e x u a l i t y r e p u t a t i o n , m o r a l i ty a n d t h e so c i a l c o n t r o l o f g i r l s a B r i t i s h s t u d y J e n n i e S h a w N o b o d y 1' s p r o b l e m : t h e c a s e o f t r u a n t i .ng g i r l s in E n g l a n d K i r s t e n R e i s b y P • G i r l s i n c o n f l i c t w i t h t h e s c h o o l 37
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S E X U A L R E P U T A T I O N , M O R A L I T Y A N D T H E S O C I A L C O N T R O L O F G I R L S : A B R I T I S H S T U D Y S u e L e e s T h e P o l y t e c h n i c o f N o r t h L o n d o n I n t r o d u c t i o n T h i s p a p e r is b a s e d on a t h r e e y e a r r e s e a r c h p r o j e c t in t h r e e L o n d o n c o m p r e h e n s i v e s c h o o l s c a r r i e d o u t in the e a r l y 1 9 8 0 ' s . A r e s e a r c h f e l l o w w a s f u n d e d b y the I n n e r L o n d o n E d u c a t i o n A u t h o r i t y a nd t h e N u f f i e l d F o u n d a t i o n c o n t r i b u t e d £ 2 , 5 0 0 t o w a r d s the p r o j e c t . A h u n d r e d 15 to 16 y e a r o l d g i r l s f r o m v a r i e d s o c i a l c l a s s a n d e t h n i c g r o u p s w e r e i n t e r v i e w e d s i n g l y , in p a i r s , or in g r o u p d i s c u s s i o n s . T h e f i r s t two s c h o o l s w e r e m i x e d : b o t h h a d w o m e n h e a d t e a c h e r s and w e r e a t t e m p t i n g to p u t i n t o f o r c e an e g u a l o p p o r t u n i t i e s p r o g r a m m e . T h e s c h o o l s d i f f e r e d in t h e i r i n t a k e . O n e w a s p r e d o m i n a n t l y w h i t e w o r k i n g c l a s s , the o t h e r h a d a h i g h p r o p o r t i o n o f d i f f e r e n t e t h n i c g r o u p s . M o s t of the c h i l d r e n h a d b e e n b r o u g h t u p in t he area. T h e t h i r d s c h o o l w a s a s i n g l e s e x s c h o o l w i t h a m a i n l y m i d d l e c l a s s i n t a k e . A ll t he d i s c u s s i o n s a n d i n t e r v i e w s w e r e t a p e r e c o r d e d a n d l a t e r t r a n s c r i b e d . T h e i n t e r v i e w s a n d g r o u p d i s c u s s i o n s d e p l o y e d a n o n - d i r e c t i v e a p p r o a c h w h i c h a l l o w e d t h e g i r l s to e x p r e s s the'ivexper i e n c e in t h e i r own t e r m s . T h e d e s i g n i n v o l v e d a n a l y s i n g the t r a n s c r i p t i o n s a c c o r d i n g to a s c h e d u l e d e v e l o p e d f o r t he p u r p o s e . It is m o r e t h a n a p u r e l y d e s c r i p t i v e s t u d y . B y f o c u s s i n g on t he t e r m s g i r l s u s e d to d e s c r i b e f i v e a s p e c t s o f t h e i r l i v e s - s c h o o l s , f r i e n d s h i p , b o y s , s e x u a l i t y , and t h e i r e x p e c t a t i o n s f o r the f u t u r e - l i g h t w a s t h r o w n o n w h a t t h e i r e x p e r i e n c e s m e a n t to t h e m and h o w t h o s e i n d i v i d u a l e x p e r i e n c e s a re s o c i a l l y s t r u c t u r e d . T h e r e s e a r c h w i l l b e p u b l i s h e d as a b o o k . L e a r n i n g to L o ve : S e x u a l i t y and A d o l e s c e n t G i r l s b y H u t c h i n s o n in the S p r i n g of 1 986. T h i s p a p e r s u g g e s t s t h a t a w o m a n ' s s e x u a l i t y is c e n t r a l to the w a y s h e is j u d g e d a n d s e e n in e v e r y d a y l i f e as w e l l a s b y the c o u r t s a n d w e l f a r e a n d l a w e n f o r c e m e n t a g e n c i e s . T h e d e n i a l of w h a t I s h a l l c a l l n o n - g e n d e r e d s u b j e c t i v i t y o f t r e a t i n g w o m e n as h u m a n b e i n g s r a t h e r t h a n as s e x o b j e c t s is t h e m a j o r b a r r i e r to w o m e n ' s e g u a l i t y . T o s p e a k of a w o m a n ' s r e p u t a t i o n is to i n v o k e h e r s e x u a l b e h a v i o u r , b u t t o s p e a k o f a m a n ' s r e p u t a t i o n is to r e f e r to h i s p e r s o n a l i t y , e x p l o i t s a n d h i s s t a n d i n g in the c o m m u n i t y . F or m e n s e x u a l r e p u t a t i o n is, in t he m ai n, s e p a r a t e d o f f f r o m the e v a l u a t i o n o f m o r a l b e h a v i o u r a n d r e g a r d e d as p r i v a t e a n d i n c i d e n t a l . T h e p o l i c i n g of w o m e n t h r o u g h s e x u a l r e p u t a t i o n s t a r t s in a d o l e s c e n c e , w h e r e , as m y r e s e a r c h s h o w s , a g i r l ' s s e x u a l r e p u t a t i o n is a c o n s t a n t s o u r c e of d e b a t e a n d g o s s i p b e t w e e n b o y s a nd g i r l s a n d e v e n t e a c h e r s a n d s o c i a l w o r k e r s . A g i r l s s t a n d i n g c a n b e d e s t r o y e d b y i n s i n u a t i o n s a b o u t h e r s e x u a l m o r a l i t y , a b o y ' s r e p u t a t i o n in c o n t r a s t is u s u a l l y e n h a n c e d b y h i s s e x u a l e x p l o i t s .
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2 W h e n w e s et o ut in the e a r l y 1 9 8 0 ' s to t a l k to a b o u t 1 0 0 15 a n d 16 y e a r o l d g i r l s f r o m d i f f e r e n t s o c i a l c l a s s e s a n d e t h n i c g r o u p s a b o u t t h e i r v i e w s of s c h o o l , f r i e n d s h i p , m a r r i a g e a n d t he f u t u r e w e d i d n o t i n t e n d to f o c u s p a r t i c u l a r l y o n s e x u a l i t y a n d g e n d e r r e l a t i o n s . H o w e v e r , t h e d o u b l e s t a n d a r d of s e x u a l m o r a l i t y a n d t he c o n c e r n t h a t g i r l s e x p r e s s e d a b o u t t h e i r s e x u a l r e p u t a t i o n s w h i c h w e r e f r e q u e n t l y t h e t a r g e t of a b u s e f r o m b o y s a n d o t h e r g i r l s l e d t o a f o c u s o n t h e n e g l e c t e d a r e a o f h o w s e x u a l r e l a t i o n s w e r e s o c i a l l y s t r u c t u r e d . T h e e m p h a s i s in y o u t h c u l t u r e s t u d i e s on c l a s s h a s d e f l e c t e d a t t e n t i o n a w a y f r o m the p o w e r i m b a l a n c e b e t w e e n b o y s a n d g i r l s so t h a t f e w s t u d i e s h a v e q u e s t i o n e d the t a k e n - f o r - g r a n t e d s u b o r d i n a t i o n o f g i r l s by the s t r u c t u r i n g of g e n d e r r e l a t i o n s . T h e s t r u c t u r e of s e x u a l r e l a t i o n s a n d t h e c o n c e p t of r e p u t a t i o n B o y s a n d g i r l s t a l k a b o u t s e x u a l i t y in q u i t e d i f f e r e n t w a y s . It is p o s s i b l e to d e l i n e a t e t h r e e m a i n d i f f e r e n c e s . F i r s t l y , w h i l e a b o y ' s s e x u a l r e p u t a t i o n is e n h a n c e d b y v a r i e d e x p e r i e n c e , a g i r l ' s is n e g a t e d . B o y s w i l l b r a g t o o t h e r s a b o u t h o w m a n y g i r l s t h e y h a v e 'made', b u t a g i r l ' s r e p u t a t i o n is u n d e r t h r e a t n o t m e r e l y if s h e is k n o w n to h a v e h a d s e x w i t h a n y o n e o t h e r t h a n h e r s t e a d y b o y f r i e n d b u t f o r a w h o l e r a n g e of o t h e r b e h a v i o u r t h a t h a s l i t t l e to d o w i t h a c t u a l sex. S e c o n d l y , a b o y ' s r e p u t a t i o n a n d s t a n d i n g in t h e w o r l d is n o t p r e d o m i n a n t l y d e t e r m i n e d b y h i s s e x u a l s t a t u s o r c o n q u e s t s . M o r e i m p o r t a n t is h i s s p o r t i n g p r o w e s s , or a b i l i t y to ' take t h e m i c k e y ' o r m a k e p e o p l e l a u g h . F or a g i r l , t h e d e f e n c e of h e r s e x u a l r e p u t a t i o n is c r u c i a l to h er s t a n d i n g b o t h w i t h b o y s a n d g i r l s - c e r t a i n l y a r o u n d the ag e of 15 o r so. T h e e m p h a s i s on t he i m p o r t a n c e o f s e x to a g i r l ' s r e p u t a t i o n is s h o w n u p b y a w h o l e b a t t e r y o f i n s u l t s w h i c h a r e in e v e r y d a y u s e a m o n g y o u n g p e o p l e . F i n a l l y , for b o y s s e x i s m a p p e a r s to b e v e r y i m p o r t a n t in m a l e b o n d i n g in as m u c h as d e n i g r a t i o n of g i r l s a n d w o m e n is a c r u c i a l i n g r e d i e n t of c a m a r a d e r i e in m a l e c i r c l e s . T h e m a s c u l i n e t r a d i t i o n of d r i n k i n g a n d m a k i n g c o a r s e j o k e s u s u a l l y f o c u s s e s o n the ' d umb s e x o b j e c t ' , the
' n a g g i n g w i f e ' or t h e ' f i l t h y w h o r e ' . T h i s is n o t t h e c a s e f o r g i r l s . As o n e g i r l t o l d me: " O n e t h i n g I n o t i c e d is t h a t t h e r e a r e n o t m a n y n a m e s y o u c a n c a l l a b o y . B u t if y o u c a l l a g i r l a n a m e , t h e r e ' s a l o a d of t h e m . Y o u m i g h t m a k e a d i c t i o n a r y o u t of the n a m e s y o u c a n c a l l a g i r l . " T h e r e s e a r c h w a s c a r r i e d o u t w i t h C e l i a C o w i e w i t h a g r a n t f r o m the N u f f i e l d F o u n d a t i o n a n d t h e I L E A . 1 .
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3 T h e v o c a b u l a r y of a b u s e T h i s l a c k of s y m m e t r y b e t w e e n the v a r i e t y o f n a m e s t o c a l l a g i r l a n d the l a c k o f n a m e s to c a l l b o y s is t h e s t a r t i n g p o i n t f o r an u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f the r o l e of v e r b a l a b u s e f o c u s s i n g on s e x u a l i t y i n r e p r o d u c i n g , a m o n g g i r l s , an o r i e n t a t i o n t o w a r d s t h e e x i s t i n g s t r u c t u r e s o f p a t r i a r c h a l s e * - g e n d e r r e l a t i o n s h i p s . T h e w o r d w h i c h i l l u s t r a t e s t h i s a s y m m e t r y m o r e c l e a r l y t h a n a n y o t h e r t e r m is ' s l a g 1 . T h e r e is n o e g u i v a l e n t to 'slag' in the v o c a b u l a r y o f t e r m s a v a i l a b l e to b e d i r e c t e d a t b o y s . D e r o g a t o r y w o r d s f o r b o y s s u c h as 'prick' or ' w a ll y ' a r e m u c h m i l d e r t h a n 'slag' in t h a t t h e y d o n o t r e f e r to t h e b o y ' s s o c i a l i d e n t i t y . T o c a l l a b o y a 'pooff' is d e r o g a t o r y b u t t h i s t e r m is n o t u s e d as a t e r m of a b u s e b y g i r l s o f b o y s . As a t e r m u s e d b e t w e e n b o y s , it i m p l i e s a l a c k of g u t s o r f e m i n i n i t y : w h i c h o f i t s e l f c o n n o t e s , in o u r c u l t u r e , w e a k n e s s , s o f t n e s s a n d i n f e r i o r i t y . T h e r e is n o d e r o g a t o r y w o r d f o r a c t i v e m a l e s e x u a l i t y . T h e p r o m i s c u o u s D o n J u a n or t h e r a k e m a y b e r e b u f f e d as in M o z a r t ' s o p e r a b u t h i s r e p u t a t i o n is e n h a n c e d . T h e p o t e n c y of 'slag' l i e s i n the w i d e r a n g e o f c i r c u m s t a n c e s in w h i c h it c a n b e u s e d . It is t h i s c h a r a c t e r i s t i c t h a t i l l u s t r a t e s i ts f u n c t i o n i n g as a f o r m of g e n e r a l i s e d s o c i a l c o n t r o l , a l o n g t h e l i n e s of g e n d e r r a t h e r t h a n c l a s s , s t e e r i n g g i r l s , in t e r m s o f b o t h t h e i r a c t i o n s a n d t h e i r a s p i r a t i o n s , i n t o t h e e x i s t i n g s t r u c t u r e s o f g e n d e r r e l a t i o n s . T h e f i r s t t h i n g t h a t is s t r i k i n g a b o u t t h e u s e o f t h e t e r m 'slag' is t he d i f f i c u l t y of g e t t i n g a n y c l e a r d e f i n i t i o n of w h a t it i m p l i e s f r o m t h o s e w h o u s e it. T h i s is t r u e b o t h f or g i r l s a n d b o y s . T a k e t h i s g i r l ' s d e s c r i p t i o n o f w h a t s h e c a l l s a ' p r o p e r s l a g ’ : "I d o k n o w o n e o r t w o s l a g s . I m u s t a d m i t t h e y ' r e n o t p r o p e r s l a g s . " Q. C a n y o u d e s c r i b e w h a t a p r o p e r s l a g is? " A v a i l a b l e a r e n ' t t h e y ? J u s t l i k e J e n n y , a l w a y s o n t he l o o k o u t f o r b o y s , n o n - s t o p . Y o u m a y n o t k n o w h e r b u t y o u a l w a y s s e e h e r a n d e v e r y t i m e y o u s e e h e r s h e ' s g o t a d i f f e r e n t f e l l a w i t h her, y o u g e t to t h i n k s h e ' s a s la g, d o n ' t y o u . S h e ' s g o t a d i f f e r e n t f e l l a e v e r y m i n u t e of t he d a y . " Q. So it is j u s t t a l k i n g t o d i f f e r e n t b o y s ? " Y o u s e e t hem, s o m e o f them, t h e y l o o k as i n n o c e n t as a n y t h i n g , b u t I k n o w w h a t t h e y ' r e l i k e . " T h e i m p l i c a t i o n h e r e is t h a t t he g i r l w h o is c a l l e d a 'slag' s l e e p s a r o u n d b u t t h i s is b y no m e a n s c l e a r , a n d t h e i n s u l t
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4 o f t e n b e a r s no r e l a t i o n at a l l t o a g i r l ' s s e x u a l b e h a v i o u r . B o y s a re n o c l e a r e r w h e n it c o m e s to d e f i n i n g w h a t t he c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s u s e d to d e f i n e a g i r l as a 'slag' are, w h i c h is w h y t h e y d i s a g r e e as to w h o is or is n o t a s l a g . In t h e i r b o o k a b o u t b o y s K n u c k l e S a n d w i c h D a v e R o b b i n s a n d P hi l C o h e n w r o t e : T h e b o y s c l a s s i f i e d a ll t h e g i r l s i n t o t w o c a t e g o r i e s : the s l a g s w h o 'd g o w i t h a n y o n e a n d e v e r y o n e ( t h e y w e r e a l r i g h t f o r a g u i c k s c r e w , b u t y o u ' d n e v e r g e t s e r i o u s a b o u t it) a nd the d r a g s w h o d i d n ' t b u t w h o m y o u m i g h t o n e d a y t h i n k a b o u t g o i n g s t e a d y w i t h . D i f f e r e n t c l i g u e s of b o y s p u t d i f f e r e n t g i r l s in e a c h o f t h e t w o c a t e g o r i e s . ( R o b b i n s C o h e n , 1978) So w h i l s t e v e r y o n e a p p a r e n t l y k n o w s a s l a g a n d s t e r e o t y p e s h e r as s o m e o n e w h o s l e e p s a r o u n d , t h i s s t e r e o t y p e b e a r s no r e l a t i o n to the g i r l s to w h o m t h e t e r m is a p p l i e d . An a l t e r n a t i v e to a s k i n g t h o s e w h o u s e a t e r m to d e f i n e it, is to c a r e f u l l y o b s e r v e t h e r u l e s w h e r e b y the t e r m is u s e d . A l o o k at the a c t u a l u s a g e of s l a g r e v e a l s a w i d e v a r i e t y of s i t u a t i o n s or a s p e c t s o f b e h a v i o u r to w h i c h t h e t e r m c a n b e a p p l i e d , m a n y of w h i c h a r e n o t r e l a t e d to a g i r l ' s a c t u a l s e x u a l b e h a v i o u r , or to a n y c l e a r l y d e f i n e d n o t i o n o f ' s l e e p i n g a r o u n d ' . A c o n s t a n t s l i d i n g o c c u r s b e t w e e n s l a g as a t e r m of jo k i n g , as b i t c h y a b u s e , as a t h r e a t , o r as a l a b e l . A t o n e m o m e n t a g i r l c a n b e f a n c i a b l e a n d t h e n e x t 'a b i t of a slag' or e v e n - t h e o t h e r s i d e of the c o i n - w r i t t e n o f f as 'too t i g h t ' . T h e g i r l s t r e a d a v e r y n a r r o w l i n e . T h e y m u s t n ' t e n d u p b e i n g c a l l e d a s l a g . B u t e g u a l l y t h e y d o n ' t w a n t to b e t h o u g h t u n a p p r o a c h a b l e , s e x u a l l y c o l d - a t i g h t b i t c h . W a y s 'slag' c a n b e u s e d T h i s c o n s t a n t s l i d i n g m e a n s t h a t a n y g i r l is a l w a y s a v a i l a b l e to t h e d e s i g n a t i o n s l a g in a n y n u m b e r of w a y s . A p p e a r a n c e is c r u c i a l : b y w e a r i n g t o o m u c h m a k e - u p , b y h a v i n g y o u r s l i t s k i r t t o o s l i t , b y n o t c o m b i n g y o u r h a i r , w e a r i n g j e a n s to d a n c e s or h i g h h e e l s to s c h o o l , h a v i n g y o u r t r o u s e r s t o o t i g h t or y o u r t o p s t o o low. As o n e g i r l s a id, ' s e x u a l c l o t h e s ' . Is it a n y w o n d e r w h e n g i r l s h a v e to l e a r n t o m a k e f i n e d i s c r i m i n a t i o n s a b o u t a p p e a r a n c e s t h a t t h e y s p e n d s o m u c h t i m e d e c i d i n g w h a t t o w e a r ? W h o m y o u m i x w i t h a l s o c o u n t s : "I p r e f e r to h a n g a r o u n d w i t h s o m e o n e w h o ' s a b i t d e c e n t . 'cos I m e a n if y o u w a l k d o w n t h e s t r e e t w i t h s o m e o n e w h o d r e s s e s w e i r d y o u g e t a b a d r e p u t a t i o n y o u r s e l f . A l s o if y o u l o o k e d a r i g h t s t a t e , y o u ' d g e t a b a d r e p u t a t i o n . L o o k a t h e r y ' k n o w . "
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5 L o o k i n g w e i r d o f t e n m e a n s d r e s s i n g d i f f e r e n t l y f r o m y o u r o w n g r o u p . B e h a v i o u r t o w a r d s b o y s is, of c o u r s e , t h e r i s k i e s t t e r r a i n . Y o u m u s t n ' t h a n g a r o u n d t o o m u c h w a i t i n g f o r b o y s t o c o m e o u t (but a l l g i r l s m u s t h a n g a r o u n d s u f f i c i e n t l y ) , t a l k or b e f r i e n d l y w i t h t o o m a n y b o y s , or t o o m a n y b o y s t o o q u i c k l y , or e v e n m o r e t h a n o n e b o y in a g r o u p , or j u s t f i n d y o u r s e l f d i t c h e d . A l m o s t e v e r y t h i n g p l a y s a p a r t in t h e c o n s t a n t a s s e s s m e n t of r e p u t a t i o n - i n c l u d i n g t h e w a y y o u s p e a k : "If w e g o t a l o u d m o u t h , w h e n w e d o t h e s a m e t h e y (the b o y s ) do, t h e y c a l l us a s l a g , o r 'got a m o u t h l i k e t h e B l a c k w a l l t u n n e l ' . B u t t h e b o y s d o n ' t g e t c a l l e d that, w h e n t h e y g o a nd t a l k . T h e y t h i n k t h e y ' r e c o o l a n d h a r d a n d all t h e r e s t o f it 'cos t h e y c a n s l a g a t e a c h e r o f f . " Q. W h o w o u l d b e c a l l i n g y o u a s l a g t h e n ? " The b o y s . T h e y t h i n k , o h y o u g o t a m o u t h l i k e an oar, y o u ' r e a l l r i g h t d o w n the f i s h m a r k e t ... T h e y t h i n k y o u ' v e c o m e f r o m a s l u m s o r t o f a r e a . " T h u s 'slag' c a n j u s t as e a s i l y b e a p p l i e d t o a g i r l w h o d r e s s e s or t a l k s in a c e r t a i n w a y, o r is s e e n t a l k i n g to t w o b o y s or w i t h s o m e o n e e l s e ' s b o y f r i e n d . T h e p o i n t is t h a t i r r e s p e c t i v e of w h e t h e r , in a p a r t i c u l a r c a s e , t h e u s e of the t e r m 'slag' is a p p l i e d e x p l i c i t l y t o s e x u a l b e h a v i o u r , s i n c e a g i r l ' s r e p u t a t i o n i s d e f i n e d in t e r m s of h e r s e x u a l i t y , a ll k i n d s of s o c i a l b e h a v i o u r b y g i r l s h a v e a p o t e n t s e x u a l s i g n i f i c a n c e . E x e r c i s i n g c o n t r o l P e r h a p s t h e k e y to an u n d e r s t a n d i n g of 'slag' is i t s f u n c t i o n i n g as a m e c h a n i s m w h i c h c o n t r o l s t h e a c t i v i t y a n d s o c i a l r e p u t a t i o n s o f g i r l s to the a d v a n t a g e o f b o y s . G i r l s w e r e p r e o c c u p i e d w i t h w h a t m i g h t h a p p e n a f t e r b e i n g d r o p p e d b y a b oy. " T h e n t he n e x t t h i n g h e ' l l b e g o i n g a r o u n d s a y i n g ' I've h a d h er, y o u w a n t to t r y h e r , g o a n d a s k h e r out, s h e ' s b o u n d to s a y Y e a h ' . " or a n o t h e r g i r l s a i d : " S o m e b o y s a r e l i k e t h a t t h e y g o r o u n d s a y i n g ' I' ve h a d h e r ' . A n d t h e n t h e y p a c k y o u i n a n d t h e i r m a t e w i l l g o o u t w i t h you. A n d y o u ' r e t h i n k i n g t h a t t h e y ' r e g o i n g o u t w i t h y o u 'cos t h e y l i k e y o u . B u t
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6 t h e y ' r e n ot. T h e y ' r e g o i n g o u t to u s e y o u . T h e n e x t y o u k n o w y o u ' r e b e i n g c a l l e d n a m e s - l i k e w r i t i n g on t he w a l l ' I've h a d it w i t h s o a n d so. I d i d h e r in 3 d a y s . A n d I ' v e d o n e h e r 12 t i m e s in a w e e k ' . " It m a y n o t b e a q u e s t i o n o f t h e g i r l a c t u a l l y h a v i n g s l e p t w i t h a b o y, s h e m a y l a n d h e r s e l f w i t h a r e p u t a t i o n as a r e s u l t o f g o i n g o u t w i t h o n e b o y , t h e n b e i n g d r o p p e d a nd g o i n g o u t w i t h o n e of h i s f r i e n d s . T h e c o n s e q u e n c e s f o r a g i r l a re q u i t e d i f f e r e n t f r o m t h o s e f o r a b o y : " W h e n t h e r e 're b o y s t a l k i n g a n d y o u ' v e b e e n o u t w i t h m o r e t h a n two y o u ' r e k n o w n as t h e c r i s p t h a t t h e y ' r e p a s s i n g a r o u n d .... T h e b o y ' s a l r i g h t b u t the g i r l ' s a b i t of s c u m ." If a b o y t a k e s y o u o u t o r b o a s t s t h a t h e h a s s l e p t w i t h m o r e t h a n o n e g i r l h e is m o r e t h a n a l r i g h t , h i s r e p u t a t i o n is e n h a n c e d : "If a b o y t e l l s h i s m a t e s t h a t h e ' s b e e n w i t h t h r e e d i f f e r e n t g i r l s , h i s m a t e s w o u l d a l l say: 'Oh l u c k y you' or " W e l l d o n e m y s o n, y o u ' r e a m a n ' . " T h e p r e s s u r e is o n b o y s t o b o a s t a b o u t t h e i r s e x u a l c o n q u e s t s . T h e y h a v e to a c t b i g i n f r o n t of t h e i r f r i e n d s . As o n e g i r l e x p l a i n e d : " T h e y m i g h t s a y 'Oh I ' v e h a d h e r ' . T h e n it s t a r t s s p r e a d i n g r o u n d . S h e m i g h t b e r e a l l y q u i e t or s o m e t h i n g a n d t h e y ' l l s a y 'Oh s h e ' s n o t q u i e t w h e n y o u g e t o u t s i d e t h e s c h o o l ' . S o m e o n e e l s e w i l l t a k e it in t h e w r o n g w a y a n d i t ' l l c a r r y on f r o m t h e r e . " N o w o n d e r t h a t g i r l s h a v e a l w a y s g o t f e a r s a b o u t b o y s g o i n g b e h i n d t h e i r b a c k s a nd s a y i n g 'Oh y o u k n o w , h a d it w i t h h e r ' . It is the g i r l ' s m o r a l i t y t h a t is a l w a y s u n d e r t h e m i c r o s c o p e w h e r e a s a n y t h i n g t he b o y d o e s is a l r i g h t . A n u m b e r o f g i r l s d e s c r i b e d g i r l s w h o h a d n o t s l e p t a r o u n d b u t h a d b e e n o u t w i t h a n u m b e r of d i f f e r e n t b o y s i n a s h o r t p e r i o d of t i m e ' b e c a u s e t h e y w e r e u n l u c k y e n o u g h to b e d r o p p e d b y a n u m b e r of b o y s ' . T h i s l e d p e o p l e to s t a r t s a y i n g 'Oh G o d w h o is s h e w i t h t o n i g h t ? ' T h e c r u c i a l p o i n t , t he n , a b o u t the l a b e l 'slag' is t h a t it is u s e d b y b o t h g i r l s a n d b o y s a s a t h r e a t . N o g i r l w a n t s to b e l a b e l l e d b a d a n d 'slag' is s o m e t h i n g to f r i g h t e n a n y g i r l w i t h . T h e e f f e c t o f t he t e r m is t o f o r c e g i r l s to s u b m i t v o l u n t a r i l y to a v e r y u n f a i r s e t of g e n d e r r e l a t i o n s . A f e w g i r l s d i d r e j e c t t he i m p l i c a t i o n s of t h e l a b e l a n d t h e d o u b l e s t a n d a r d i m p l i c i t w i t h i n it, b u t e v e n t h e y s a i d t h e y u s e d t h e t e r m to a b u s e o t h e r g i r l s . W h a t b e c o m e s i m p o r t a n t is n o t t he i d e n t i f i c a t i o n o f c e r t a i n g i r l s b u t h o w t h e t e r m is u s e d . A u s e f u l w a y t o u n d e r s t a n d h o w t e r m s l i k e s l a g are u s e d is p r o v i d e d b y C o l i n S u m n e r i n a s t u d y o f t h e f u n c t i o n i n g o f c a t e g o r i e s of d e v i a n c e .
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7 T h e i r g e n e r a l f u n c t i o n is to d e n o u n c e a n d c o n t r o l n ot to e x p l a i n .... T h e y m a r k o f f the d e v i a n t , t h e p a t h o l o g i c a l , t h e d a n g e r o u s a nd the c r i m i n a l f r o m the n o r m a l an d t he g o o d ... (they) a re n o t j u s t l a b e l s ... (but) ... T h e y a r e l o a d e d w i t h i m p l i e d i n t e r p r e t a t i o n s of r e a l p h e n o m e n a , m o d e l s of h u m a n n a t u r e a n d t h e w e i g h t of p o l i t i c a l s e l f i n t e r e s t . ( S u m n e r 1 9 8 3 ) T o c a l l a g i r l a s l a g is to u s e a t e r m t h a t as w e h a v e s e e n a p p e a r s at f i r s t s i g h t to b e a l a b e l d e s c r i b i n g an a c t u a l f o r m of b e h a v i o u r b u t w h i c h n o g i r l i n c o n t r o v e r t i b l y f i t s i n t o . It is e v e n d i f f i c u l t to i d e n t i f y w h a t a c t u a l b e h a v i o u r is s p e c i f i e d . T a k e H e l e n ' s d e s c r i p t i o n of h o w a p p e a r a n c e c a n d e f i n e g i r l s , n o t in t e r m s o f t h e i r a t t r i b u t e s as h u m a n b e i n g s , b u t in t e r m s of s e x u a l r e p u t a t i o n : “I mean t h e y m i g h t n o t m e a n a n y h a r m . I m e a n t h e y m i g h t n ot b e as b a d as t h e y l ook. B u t t h e i r a p p e a r a n c e m a k e s t h e m s t a n d o u t a n d t h a t ' s w h a t m a k e s t h e m l o o k w e i r d a n d y o u t h i n k 'God I c a n i m a g i n e h e r y ' k n o w ? ' . . . S h e s t r a i g h t w a y g e t s a b a d r e p u t a t i o n e v e n t h o u g h t he g i r l m i g h t b e d e c e n t i n s i d e . S h e m i g h t b e g o o d . S h e m i g h t s t i l l b e l i v i n g at h o m e . S h e m i g h t j u s t w a n t to l o o k d i f f e r e n t b u t m i g h t s t i l l a c t n o r m a l . " Y o u c a n n o t i m a g i n e a b o y ' s a p p e a r a n c e b e i n g d e s c r i b e d in t h i s w a y . H o w s h e d r e s s e s d e t e r m i n e s h o w a g i r l is v i e w e d a n d h o w s h e is v i e w e d is in t e r m s of h er a s s u m e d s e x u a l b e h a v i o u r . W h e t h e r s h e is 'good' o r n o t is d e t e r m i n e d b y h o w s h e is a s s u m e d to c o n d u c t h e r s e x u a l life; t h a t s e x u a l i t y is r e l a t i v e to m a l e s e x u a l n e e d s . R a t h e r t h a n a t t e m p t to s p e c i f y w h a t p a r t i c u l a r b e h a v i o u r d i f f e r e n t i a t e s a s l a g it is m o r e u s e f u l to s e e s l a g as w h a t S u m n e r t e r m s a c a t e g o r y o f ' moral c e n s u r e ' : as p a r t o f a d i s c o u r s e a b o u t b e h a v i o u r as a d e p a r t u r e , o r p o t e n t i a l d e p a r t u r e f r o m - in t h i s c a s e - m a l e c o n c e p t i o n s o f f e m a l e s e x u a l i t y w h i c h r u n d e e p in t h e c u l t u r e , s o d e e p t h a t the m a j o r i t y of m e n a n d w o m e n c a n n o t f o r m u l a t e t h e m e x c e p t b y r e f e r e n c e to t h e s e t e r m s o f c e n s u r e t h a t s i g n a l a t h r e a t e n e d v i o l a t i o n . T h i s v i o l a t i o n c a n o c c u r f o r n o r e a s o n o t h e r t h a n a r e b u f f f r o m a g i r l : " W h a t I h a t e is w h e n a b o y t r i e s , y o u g o s o m e w h e r e a n d a b o y t r i e s to s o r t of g e t in w i t h y o u a n d i f y o u d i s l i k e h i m as a p e r s o n , t h e n (he s a y s ) ' S l a g ' . T h a t ' s w h a t r e a l l y a n n o y s m e . " A g i r l s h o u l d b e f l a t t e r e d b y a b o y ' s i n t e r e s t , s h o u l d b e a p a s s i v e a n d c o m p l i a n t r e c i p i e n t r a t h e r t h a n an a c t i v e a g e n t in h e r o w n r i g h t . S h e c a n b e d e e m e d a s l a g b o t h w h e n s h e a p p r o a c h e s h i m or r e b u f f s h im . He m u s t a l w a y s b e m a s t e r .
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8 T h e t e r m c o n n o t e s b e i n g p r o m i s c u o u s an d ' s l e e p i n g a r o u n d 1 b u t i t s a c t u a l u s a g e is s u c h t h a t a n y u n a t t a c h e d g i r l is v u l n e r a b l e to b e i n g c a t e g o r i s e d as a s l a g . T h i s is the w a y in w h i c h t h e t e r m f u n c t i o n s as a f o r m o f c o n t r o l b y b o y s o v e r g i r l s , a f o r m o f c o n t r o l w h i c h s t e e r s g i r l s i n t o ' a c c e p t a b l e ' f o r m s o f s e x u a l i t y a n d s o c i a l b e h a v i o u r . T h i s is r e f l e c t e d in t h e f a c t t h a t t h e r e is n o w a y t h e l e g i t i m a c y o f s l a g c a n b e c o n t e s t e d . If s o m e o n e s t a r t s t o g e t a r e p u t a t i o n the o n l y t h i n g t h e y c a n d o to r e d e e m t h e m s e l v e s is to 'get a s t e a d y b o y f r i e n d ' : " T h e n t h a t w a y y o u s e e m to b e m o r e r e s p e c t a b l e l i k e y o u ' r e m a r r i e d o r s o m e t h i n g . " G o i n g s t e a d y e s t a b l i s h e s t h e l o c a t i o n of a s e x u a l i t y a p p r o p r i a t e f o r ' n i c e g i r l s ' , a n d t h a t s e x u a l i t y is d i s t i n g u i s h e d f r o m t h e e s s e n t i a l l y d i r t y / p r o m i s c u o u s s e x u a l i t y o f the s l a g b y t h e p r e s e n c e of LOVE: T h e f u n d a m e n t a l r u l e g o v e r n i n g s e x u a l b e h a v i o u r w a s the e x i s t e n c e of a f f e c t i o n in t h e f o r m o f r o m a n t i c l o v e b e f o r e a n y s e x u a l c o m m i t m e n t . F o r m o s t o f t h e g i r l s , l o v e e x i s t e d b e f o r e s e x a n d it w a s n e v e r a c o n s e q u e n c e of s e x u a l i n v o l v e m e n t . ( W i l s o n , 1 9 7 8) D e i r d r e W i l s o n w h o s t u d i e d a g r o u p o f 13 - 1 6 y e a r o l d g i r l s c o m m e n t e d i g i v e n t h i s t h r e a t of r e j e c t i o n (for s e x w i t h o u t l o ve ) it w a s d i f f i c u l t to d i s c o v e r j u s t h o w m a n y g i r l s a c t u a l l y b e l i e v e d in t h e p r i m a c y o f l o v e , a n d h o w m a n y s i m p l y p a i d l i p s e r v i c e to t h e i d e a l . N e v e r t h e l e s s t h e f a c t t h a t t h e g i r l s f o u n d i t n e c e s s a r y to s u p p o r t t h i s c o n v e n t i o n , w h e t h e r t h e y b e l i e v e d in it o r not, w a s an i m p o r t a n t f a c t in i t s e l f . ( W i l s o n , 1 9 7 8 ) N i c e g i r l s c a n n o t h a v e s e x u a l d e s i r e o u t s i d e of l o v e , f o r t h e m s e x u a l i t y is s o m e t h i n g t h a t j u s t h a p p e n s i f y o u a r e in l ove , o r if y o u a r e u n l u c k y , w h e n y o u a r e d r u n k : " Yo u m i g h t b e at a p a r t y a n d s o m e o n e j u s t d r a g g e d y o u u p s t a i r s or s o m e t h i n g a n d t h e n t h e n e x t t h i n g y o u k n o w y o u d o n ' t k n o w w h a t ' s h a p p e n i n g to y o u . " If t h i s h a p p e n s t h e g e n e r a l c o n s e n s u s o f o p i n i o n is t h a t it is t h e g i r l ' s f a u l t : "It h a p p e n s a lot. B u t t h e n i t ' s t h e g i r l ' s f a u l t f o r g e t t i n g s i l l y d r u n k in t h e f i r s t p l a c e t h a t s h e c a n ' t s h e d o e s n ' t k n o w w h a t ' s g o i n g o n or a n y t h i n g . " F e w g i r l s w e r e c l e a r a b o u t w h a t b e i n g in l o v e m e a n t , t h o u g h i n v a r i a b l y l o v e w a s g i v e n as t h e o n l y l e g i t i m a t e r e a s o n f o r s l e e p i n g w i t h a b o y . T h e i m p o r t a n c e o f l o v e s e e m e d to b e t h e r e f o r e in p e r m i t t i n g s e x u a l e x c i t e m e n t w h i l e o f f e r i n g s o m e p r o t e c t i o n f r o m s l u t t i s h n e s s . T h i s f a i l u r e t o r e c o g n i z e s e x u a l d e s i r e m e a n t t h a t g i r l s o f t e n c h a n g e d t h e i r m i n d s
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9 a b o u t w h o m t h e y l o v e d : " Y ou t h i n k y o u ' r e in l o v e a n d t h e n w h e n it f i n i s h e s y o u f i n d s o m e o n e e l s e y o u l i k e m o r e a n d t h e n y o u t h i n k t he l a s t t i m e it c o u l d n ' t h a v e b e e n l o v e s o it m u s t b e t h i s time. B u t y o u ' r e n e v e r s u re , a r e y o u , 'cos e a c h t i m e it e i t h e r g e t s b e t t e r or it g e t s w o r s e s o y o u n e v e r know. " Y ou t h i n k y o u ' r e in l o v e l o a d s of t i m e s a n d y o u g o t h r o u g h l i f e t h i n k i n g 'God I ' m in love' a n d y o u d o n ' t d o a n y t h i n g . Y o u w a n t to b e w i t h t h i s p e r s o n a l l the t ime. T h e n y o u r e a l i s e y o u w e r e n ' t in l o v e , y o u j u s t t h o u g h t y o u w e r e ... I t h o u g h t I w a s in l o v e a n d t h e n I w e n t a w a y a nd w h e n I c a m e b a c k I r e a l i s e d I w a s n ' t . It w a s n ' t l o v e at all. S o I f i n i s h e d it a n d I w a s m u c h h a p p i e r . " T h e g i r l s h e r e c o u l d j u s t as e a s i l y b e d e s c r t h e y f e l t a t t r a c t e d to a b o y a n d t h e n l o s t i g i r l s s a i d t h e y h a d ' be e n in l o v e l o a d s o f t o t h e r s s a i d t h e y 'had n e v e r r e a l l y e x p e r i e n c i b i n g t h e w a y n t e r e s t . S o m e i m e s ' w h e r e a s ed i t ': "It t a k e s a w h i l e t o h a p p e n . I m e a n it s o r t o f d a w n s on y o u t h a t y o u f i n a l l y l o v e t h i s p e r s o n . D o n ' t t h i n k it h a p p e n s s t r a i g h t a w a y . I m e a n y o u m i g h t s a y 'Oh l o o k at h i m I l o v e h i m ' , 'I t h i n k h e ' s r e a l l y n i c e ' b u t y o u c a n ' t r e a l l y s a y t h a t u n t i l y o u k n o w h i m r e a l l y w e l l ." G i v e n the a m b i g u i t y a b o u t w h a t l o v e i n v o l v e d it c o u l d w e l l b e t h a t l o v e is u s e d as a r a t i o n a l i z a t i o n f o r s l e e p i n g w i t h s o m e o n e a f t e r t he e v e n t , r a t h e r t h a n as D e i r d r e W i l s o n s u g g e s t s as a l w a y s e x i s t i n g b e f o r e s e x c o u l d o c c u r . T h e c o n f u s i o n th at g i r l s e x p e r i e n c e o v e r w h e t h e r o r n o t t h e y a r e in l o v e a r i s e s f r o m t h e c o n f u s i o n of u s i n g t h e w o r d l o v e to e x p r e s s w h a t is r e a l l y s e x u a l d e s i r e . L o v e is s u p p o s e d to l ast f o r e v e r or at l e a s t f o r a l o n g t i m e , a n d is t h e m a i n r e a s o n t h a t g i r l s g i v e f o r g e t t i n g m a r r i e d . T h e d i s t o r t i o n of w h a t is r e a l l y s e x u a l d e s i r e i n t o 'love' m e a n s t ha t g i r l s m u s t f i n d it d i f f i c u l t to s e p a r a t e t h e i r s e x u a l f e e l i n g s f r o m d e c i s i o n s a b o u t m a r r i a g e a n d l o n g - t e r m c o m m i t m e n t . As J a c k y s a id : " G i r l s h a v e g o t to k e e p q u i e t a b o u t s e x a n d t h i n k i t ' s s o m e t h i n g to b e a s h a m e d o f . " H o w e v e r it is q u i t e l e g i t i m a t e to t a l k of l o v e . T h e ' l e g i t i m a c y ' of l o v e is p r e c i s e l y its r o l e in s t e e r i n g f e m a l e s e x u a l i t y i n t o t h e o n l y 'safe' p l a c e f o r i t s e x p r e s s i o n : m a r r i a g e . T h e r e s u l t is t h a t a g i r l e i t h e r s u p p r e s s e s h e r s e x u a l d e s i r e o r c h a n n e l s it i n t o a s t e a d y r e l a t i o n s h i p t h a t is b a s e d o n an u n w r i t t e n c o n t r a c t of i n e q u a l i t y - t h a t s h e w i l l b e the o n e to m a k e c o m p r o m i s e s o v e r w h e r e s he w o r k s , l i v e s , a n d s p e n d s h e r l e i s u r e . S h e w i l l b e a r the m a i n b u r d e n of d o m e s t i c i t y a n d c h i l d c a r e w i t h o u t p a y and a d j u s t h e r s e l f and i n d e e d c o n t r i b u t e to h e r h u s b a n d ' s w o r k , l i f e s t y l e a nd d e m a n d s .
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10
T h e i m p o r t a n c e of t h e t h r e a t of b e i n g r e g a r d e d as a s l a g in p u s h i n g g i r l s to c h a n n e l t h e i r s e x u a l i t y i n t o the
' l e g i t i m a t e ' c h a n n e l s of l o v e w h i c h r e s u l t s in m a r r i a g e is i l l u s t r a t e d b y t he r e a l i s t i c , as o p p o s e d to r o m a n t i c v i e w of m a r r i a g e w h i c h m o s t of t h e g i r l s had. A l m o s t all the g i r l s t o o k it f o r g r a n t e d t h a t t h e y w o u l d g e t m a r r i e d y e t t h e y a r e r e m a r k a b l y c l e a r a b o u t t h e g r i m m e r a s p e c t s of w o m a n ' s l o t in m a r r i a g e . As o n e g i r l p u t it: " T h e w i f e h a s to s t a y a t h o m e a n d d o t h e s h o p p i n g a n d t h i n g s . S h e h a s g o t m o r e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y in l i f e an d t h e y h a v e n ' t g o t m u c h to l o o k f o r w a r d to .... W e ' v e g o t to w o r k at h o m e a n d l o o k a f t e r t h e c h i l d r e n t i l l t h e y g r o w up, y o u ' v e g o t to g o o u t s h o p p i n g , d o the h o u s e w o r k a n d t r y to h a v e a c a r e e r . T h e m a n c o m e s in a n d s a y s 'Where's m y d i n n e r ? ' w h e n w e ' v e b e e n to w o r k . T h e y s a y 'You d o n ' t w o r k ' . I t ' s b e c a u s e b o y s a r e b r o u g h t u p e x p e c t i n g g i r l s to d o a l l t h e w o r k . T h e y e x p e c t t h e i r m u m s to d o it a n d w h e n t h e y g e t m a r r i e d t h e y e x p e c t t h e i r w i v e s t o d o it. T h e y ' r e j u s t l a z y . " T h e r e a l i s m a b o u t m a r r i a g e w a s b a s e d o n the o b s e r v a t i o n of t h e i r p a r e n t s : "My d a d w o n ' t d o a n y t h i n g , h e w o n ' t m a k e a c u p of tea, h e s a y s h e d o e s t h e w o r k f o r t h e m o n e y a n d the r e s t is u p to m y m u m - s h e d o e s p a r t t i m e w o r k t o o . " T h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t r e a s o n t h a t g i r l s p u t f o r w a r d f o r g e t t i n g m a r r i e d w a s t h a t t h e y s a w n o a l t e r n a t i v e . L i f e as an i n d e p e n d e n t u n a t t a c h e d w o m a n is a l w a y s o p e n to r i s k s : "If y o u d o n ' t w a n t to g e t m a r r i e d a n d w a n t to l i v e a f r e e l i f e a n d y o u g o o u t w i t h o n e b l o k e o n e w e e k a n d a n o t h e r the n e x t , e v e r y o n e w i l l c a l l y o u a tart, l i k e y o u ' v e g o t to g o o u t w i t h a b l o k e f o r a r e a l l y l o n g t i m e a n d t h e n m a r r y h i m . " B e s i d e s t he c o n s t a n t f e a r of b e i n g r e g a r d e d as a t a r t or s l a g , l i v i n g a l o n e is s e e n as t o o f r i g h t e n i n g . T h e n e e d f o r p r o t e c t i o n e m e r g e d in a n u m b e r o f t h e i n t e r v i e w s . C h a r l o t t e d e s c r i b e s h o w h e r b r o t h e r is t r e a t e d d i f f e r e n t l y f r o m her: " B o y s a r e a t o t a l l y d i f f e r e n t p h y s i q u e . I c o u l d g o o u t a n d b e r a p e d w h e r e a s h e c o u l d n ' t . H e ' d h a v e m o r e c h a n c e of p r o t e c t i n g h i m s e l f . I t h i n k that c o m e s u p the w h o l e t i me . I t ' s n o t t h a t a b o y is m o r e t r u s t e d . I t ' s t ha t h e ' s f r e e r . " T h e h a r s h r e a l i t y e x i s t i n g in a m a l e d o m i n a t e d w o r l d w a s t h a t y o u n e e d e d p r o t e c t i o n f r o m s e x u a l h a r a s s m e n t . G i r l s c o u l d n e v e r g o out o n t h e i r o w n - o r e v e n w i t h g i r l f r i e n d s - w i t h o u t f ear:
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- 11 " S a y y o u h a v e a b o y p r o t e c t i n g y o u. I t ' s as if n o o n e c a n h u r t y o u o r n o t h i n g . Y o u ' r e p r o t e c t e d a n d e v e r y t h i n g . If s o m e o n e d o e s s o m e t h i n g to y o u , t h e n t h e r e ' s h i m t h e r e too a n d it j u s t m a k e s y o u f e e l s e c u r e ." T h e t h r e a t of m a l e p h y s i c a l v i o l e n c e t a k e s its p l a c e a l o n g s i d e t he v e r b a l v i o l e n c e a s s o c i a t e d w i t h l a b e l l i n g a g i r l as a s l a g to s t e e r g i r l s i n t o the a c c e p t a b i l i t y of m a r r i a g e . B u t it is n o t j u s t t he c o n s t r a i n t s on an i n d e p e n d e n t s e x l i f e t h a t l e a d g i r l s to m a r r i a g e b u t t h a t t h e f a m i l y is s e e n as t h e o n l y h o p e w e a p p e a r to h a v e f o r th e f u l f i l m e n t o f n e e d s f o r w a r m t h and i n t i m a c y a n d love. L e s b i a n r e l a t i o n s h i p s c a n o f c o u r s e o f f e r t h e s e b u t o n l y if t he g i r l m a n a g e s to r e s i s t t h e p r e s s u r e t o w a r d s c o n f o r m i t y and, of c o u r s e , if s h e is a t t r a c t e d to o t h e r g i r l s . In t h e f a c e of t h e s e s t r o n g p r e s s u r e s t h e g i r l s i n e v i t a b l y s u b s c r i b e d to t he i d e a t h a t t h e y w a n t e d to m a r r y . N e v e r t h e l e s s t h e i r r e a l i s m a b o u t m a r r i a g e , b a s e d on t h e o b s e r v a t i o n o f t h e i r p a r e n t s t h a t we h a v e a l r e a d y n o t e d , l e d t h e m to d e v i s e w a y s of r a t i o n a l i s i n g or c u s h i o n i n g i t s i n e v i t a b l e i m p a c t . A l m o s t a ll the g i r l s w a n t e d to p u t m a r r i a g e o f f f o r s o m e time. By d e l a y i n g m a r r i a g e m a n y g i r l s t h o u g h t t h a t t h e y w o u l d b e a b l e to h a v e s o m e fun, o f t e n f a n t a s i s e d as t r a v e l a n d s e e i n g t h e w o r l d . M a r r i a g e w a s s o m e t h i n g y o u e n d e d u p w i t h a f t e r y o u h a d l ived : "I d o n ' t r e a l l y w a n t to g e t m a r r i e d 'cos ' I w a n t to go r o u n d the w o r l d f i r s t l i k e me d a d d i d ... t h e y g o t m a r r i e d w h e n t h e y w e r e t h i r t y y e a r s old, t h e y j u s t s o r t of h a d t h e i r l i f e f i r s t a n d t h e n t h e y g o t m a r r i e d a n d h a d us b u t w h e n y o u ' r e an a i r h o s t e s s y o u d o n ' t s t a r t the j o b u n t i l y o u ' r e t w e n t y s o I w a n t t o w o r k u n t i l I ' m t h i r t y - f i v e . " G i r l s w h o d i d w a n t a c a r e e r o f t e n r e a l i s e d t h a t r e l a t i o n s h i p s w i t h b o y s m i g h t u p s e t t h e i r i n t e n t i o n s a n d t h e r e f o r e s t e e r e d c l e a r of them:
"If a b o y d o e s ask us o u t w e s a y 'no' d o n ' t w a n t to k no w, b e c a u s e w e w a n t a c a r e e r a n d g o r o u n d t h e w o r l d a n d a ll t h a t lot. So w e j u s t l e a v e t h e m a l o n e . ..." o r J a n e y p u t it m o r e s t r o n g l y : "I d o n ' t r e a l l y b o t h e r a b o u t b o y s n o w - j u s t g e t o n w i t h m y h o m e w o r k . I w a s b r o u g h t u p n o t to l i k e b o y s r e a l l y 'cos I ' v e h e a r d s o m u c h a b o u t w h a t t h e y do, r o b b e r i e s , r a p e s and al l t h a t so I k e e p a w a y f r o m t h e m . W h e n a s k e d w h a t s h e m e a n t b y b e i n g b r o u g h t u p n o t to l i k e t h e m s h e r e p l i e d : " W e l l m y m u m t old me n e v e r to g o w i t h t h e m b e c a u s e t h e y ' r e b a d a n d t h e y d a m a g e y o u r h e a l t h a n d t h i n g s l i k e t hat , d o n ' t k n o w . "
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12 B o y f r i e n d s a n d m a r r i a g e c o u l d e a s i l y i n t e r f e r e w i t h c a r e e r i n t e n t i o n s - t he g i r l s c o u l d s e e w h a t h a d h a p p e n e d to t h e i r m u m s a n d h o w l i t t l e a u t o n o m y t h e y had. A n o t h e r w a y of a t t e m p t i n g to a v o i d t h e p r e d i c a m e n t of m a r r i a g e w a s to a t t r i b u t e t h e u n h a p p i n e s s t h e y s a w in m a r r i a g e s a r o u n d t h e m to t h e w r o n g c h o i c e o f p a r t n e r . T h e s u b o r d i n a t e p o s i t i o n t h a t m a n y w o m e n f o u n d t h e m s e l v e s in w a s o f t e n a t t r i b u t e d to t h e l a c k of g o o d s e n s e in c h o o s i n g t h e r i g h t h u s b a n d r a t h e r t h a n to t h e g e n e r a l s t r u c t u r a l c o n s t r a i n t s on w o m e n at h o m e w i t h y o u n g c h i l d r e n . A l i c e , l o o k i n g at t he ' m i s t a k e s ' h e r m o t h e r m a d e - in c h o o s i n g t he w r o n g m a n - b e l i e v e d : " But n o t all m a r r i a g e s a r e l i k e t h a t t h o u g h a r e t h e y ? l i k e if y o u r m u m ' s g o e s b a d , y o u r s m i g h t g o g o o d , i t ' s w h a t h u s b a n d y o u p i c k ." A l i c e is r i g h t in o n e r e s p e c t . S o m e m e n a l l o w w o m e n m o r e a u t o n o m y t h a n o t h e r s . S h e d o e s n o t h o w e v e r c r i t i c i s e th e u n f a i r n e s s of t h e m a r r i a g e d e a l i t s e l f , p a r t i c u l a r l y if c h i l d r e n w e r e i n v o l v e d . A l t h o u g h h a v i n g c h i l d r e n w a s s o m e t h i n g t h at m o s t g i r l s w a n t e d , a g a i n , t h e w a y in w h i c h t h i s i n e v i t a b l y c o n s t r a i n e d f r e e d o m w a s r e c o g n i s e d : "I t h i n k t h a t o n c e y o u d e c i d e to h a v e k i d s t h e n y o u ' v e g o t to a c c e p t the f a c t t h a t y o u a r e g o n n a b e t i e d d o w n f o r a w h i l e . T h a t ' s w h y i t ' s i m p o r t a n t n o t to g e t m a r r i e d t o o e a r l y - u n t i l y o u ' r e t w e n t y - e i g h t o r s o . " In s h o r t , t h e g i r l s w e r e n o t a w a r e of p o s i t i v e a t t r a c t i o n s a t t a c h i n g to t h e m a r r i e d l i f e yet, as f a r as t h e y s a w it, t h e r e w a s j u s t n o a l t e r n a t i v e . R o m a n t i c i s m a b o u t c h o o s i n g t h e ' r i g h t man' c a n b e s e e n as a w a y o f a t t r i b u t i n g p e r s o n a l r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r s t r u c t u r a l o p p r e s s i o n b u t t h e f a c t of s t r u c t u r a l o p p r e s s i o n is r e a l i s t i c a l l y u n d e r s t o o d . N e v e r t h e l e s s , d e s p i t e t h e u n a t t r a c t i v e n e s s of m a r r i a g e the q u e s t i o n is, as a g i r l f r o m D i a n a L e o n a r d ’s s t u d y (1970) in S w a n s e a p u t it, n o t o f c h o o s i n g to g e t m a r r i e d or n o t b u t w h e t h e r y o u f a i l to g e t m a r r i e d . M y a r g u m e n t h a s b e e n t h a t w h a t f o r c e s t h i s c l o s u r e on a l l a l t e r n a t i v e s to m a r r i e d l i f e is a b o v e a l l the p o w e r of t he s l a g c a t e g o r i s a t i o n f or th e u n a t t a c h e d w o m a n w h o is s e x u a l l y a c t i v e . O n c e w e u n d e r s t a n d t h e w a y in w h i c h f e m a l e s e x u a l i t y i s c o n s t r u c t e d a n d c o n s t r a i n e d b y t he c a t e g o r i s a t i o n of s l a g , h o w a w o m a n ' s f e m i n i n i t y a n d s e x u a l i t y is o n l y r e n d e r e d 'safe' w h e n c o n f i n e d to t h e b o n d s of m a r r i a g e , w e u n d e r s t a n d w h y t h e r e is j u s t n o a l t e r n a t i v e , as the g i r l s s e e it, to m a r r i e d life.
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13 S e x , c l a s s a n d s u b c u l t u r e As I h a v e n o t e d , m o s t s t u d i e s o f m a l e y o u t h c u l t u r e h a v e b e e n c o n d u c t e d f r o m a s u b c u l t u r a l s t a n d p o i n t in w h i c h y o u t h c u l t u r e is s e e n as r e s i s t a n c e to a n d t e m p o r a r y e s c a p e f r o m , t he p r e s s u r e s a n d d e m a n d s of s o c i e t y . Y e t t h e e x p e r i e n c e s of t h e g i r l s t h a t I h a v e p o r t r a y e d h e r e c a n h a r d l y b e s e e n as r e s i s t a n c e o r e s c a p e . On t h e c o n t r a r y t h e p r o c e s s e s w h i c h I h a v e i l l u s t r a t e d a r e v e r y f a r f r o m r e s i s t a n c e ; t h e y a r e t h e p r o c e s s e s of c o n s t r a i n t a n d t h e c h a n n e l l i n g o f a s p i r a t i o n s a n d b e h a v i o u r a l o n g t he w e l l e s t a b l i s h e d p a t h s of s e x a n d g e n d e r r e l a t i o n s e x e m p l i f i e d b y t h e i n s t i t u t i o n o f m a r r i a g e a n d t h e r o l e o f w o m e n in t h e d o m e s t i c s p h e r e . T o s e e t h e r e h e a r s a l f o r e n t r y i n t o a m a j o r s o c i a l i n s t i t u t i o n s u c h as m a r r i a g e a n d t h e d o m e s t i c s p h e r e as a f o r m o f ' s u b c u l t u r e ' or r e s i s t a n c e is, in e f f e c t , to d e n y t h e r e a l i t y of t h e d o m e s t i c s p h e r e as a s o c i a l i n s t i t u t i o n a k i n , s a y , to e c o n o m i c l i f e a n d s o c i a l c l a s s r e l a t i o n s a n d to s e e i t p u r e l y as a c u l t u r a l p h e n o m e n o n . In t h i s w a y t h e q u e s t i o n s of s u b c u l t u r e a n d t h e d e b a t e o v e r s e x a n d c l a s s r e l a t i o n s a r e c r u c i a l l y l i n k e d . If t he m a i n s t r u c t u r a l f o r c e s o r f o r m s o f s t r a t i f i c a t i o n in o u r s o c i e t y a r e s e e n as e c o n o m i c c l a s s s t r u c t u r e s t h e n o f c o u r s e r e h e a r s a l f o r d o m e s t i c l i f e , w h e n s e e n f r o m t h e s t a n d p o i n t of t h o s e s t r u c t u r e s , w i l l b e s e e n a s a f o r m o f c u l t u r a l b e h a v i o u r u n r e l a t e d to c l a s s , or p o s s i b l y as a f o r m o f r e s i s t a n c e t o t h e c o n s e q u e n c e s of c l a s s - d e t e r m i n e d l i f e c h a n c e s - i n t h e w a y in w h i c h , f o r e x a m p l e , P a u l W i l l i s d e s c r i b e s t h e p r o c e s s w h e r e b y w o r k i n g c l a s s b o y s r e c o n c i l e t h e m s e l v e s t o w o r k i n g c l a s s j o b s . B u t if g e n d e r d i v i s i o n s a r e s e e n a s of e q u a l s i g n i f i c a n c e to e c o n o m i c c l a s s i n t h e c o n s t i t u t i o n of s o c i a l s t r u c t u r e and s o c i a l i n s t i t u t i o n s t h e n it is l e s s e a s y to v i e w g i r l s ' b e h a v i o u r as ' s u b c u l t u r a l ' . R a t h e r w h a t is i m p o r t a n t is to a n a l y s e t h e c o n s t r a i n t s t h a t t h e s t r u c t u r i n g of g e n d e r r e l a t i o n s a n d t h e d o u b l e s t a n d a r d o f s e x u a l m o r a l i t y p l a c e s o n g i r l s . In t h i s f i n a l s e c t i o n I s h a l l d r a w o u t s o m e of t he i m p l i c a t i o n s o f this. M o r a l i t y a n d s e x u a l b e h a v i o u r : s l a g s M y r e s e a r c h i n t o t h e l a n g u a g e o f s e x u a l r e p u t a t i o n a m o n g s t a d o l e s c e n t g i r l s r e v e a l e d t h r e e t h i n g s . F i r s t l y , t h a t n a m e s l i k e 'slag' f u n c t i o n , as t e r m s of a b u s e , t o c o n t r o l s i n g l e g i r l s a n d s t e e r t h e m t o w a r d s m a r r i a g e a s t h e o n l y l e g i t i m a t e e x p r e s s i o n of s e x u a l i t y . S e c o n d l y , w h a t b e c a m e c l e a r w a s t h e i n t e r d e p e n d e n c e of m a l e ’n o n - g e n d e r e d s u b j e c t i v i t y ' a n d f e m a l e s e x u a l i t y . T h i s m a n i f e s t e d i t s e l f in t h e w a y g i r l s c o n t i n u a l l y t a k e on r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r m a l e a c t i o n s - e s p e c i a l l y v i o l e n c e or o t h e r b e h a v i o u r t h a t is i r r a t i o n a l o r s e x u a l l y m o t i v a t e d . G i r l s a l s o b e a r th e m o r a l r e s p o n s i b i l i t y f o r t h e c o n s e q u e n c e s o f s e x u a l r e l a t i o n s - as w i t h t a k i n g s t e p s to e n s u r e c o n t r a c e p t i o n . T h i r d l y , t h e r e p r e s s i o n of s e x u a l i t y to t h e c o n v e n t i o n a l p a t t e r n o f m a r r i a g e m e a n s t h a t f e m a l e s e x u a l i t y h a s l i t t l e a u t o n o m o u s e x p r e s s i o n b u t is c o n s t r a i n e d
